The Other Pensive Girl


In my 21 years (turning 22 this August) of existence, I had my fair share of being extremely giddy and extremely pensive. Life has been actually good to me because I have a wonderful family and they’re very supportive in me pursuing a professional (law) degree. And it’s something that is wonderful than I could think of.

Despite of being extremely blessed of having a wonderful family, I still have the feeling of being pensive. Not because I’m not contented (that is what I think) but because I feel I can be more being just an obedient daughter. I want to try new things and burn the ‘what-ifs’ inside my head without losing my principles. I’m aware that I’m socially awkward or deviant in the crowd than I’m into but I try to mingle and blend in without drowning myself to their standards. I wanted to be a woman in action and inspire the youth that they can live a life the way they wanted without breaking the rules. I want to embody the attitude of a Global Filipina who is empowered to show the world that she can be confident without losing her morals and principles.

I know that I’m confident but it is not enough for me to step up and shine uniquely. They’ve said I’m brave and bold but deep inside I keep questioning myself I truly embody that qualities. And that made me feel pensive and helpless. I don’t know why I’m not confident enough to step up without doubting myself and minding what others think.

I want to grow and be brave, bold and beautiful. I want to step outside my box and bring out the best of me. I want to totally eliminate the pensive feeling and thoughts when I lay down in my bed and having 2 am thoughts.

I want to be me and be able to inspire others that it’s okay to step up without your principles holding you back. They can still go hand and hand. All I wanted is to make most out of life and what God has given me. I may not be the smartest girl or a girl who learns to sing or dance but I want to be a girl to prove to the world that I have the talent to inspire others by being me.


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