Growing up, I was taught not to be afraid to speak up as long as I don’t cause injury to others. Speaking about anything from my opinions and principles to my life and anything under the sun made me entitled to walk my talk. A lot of you read them in my socmed accounts and even get chance to talk with me.
I have this mindset of “paninindigan ko ang sinabi ko” but sometimes, it got me on troubled waters since not all the time that I’m right with my perception. These past months, I tried to keep silent about my struggles and how it affect me. A few people knew of my past on how I have trust issues and affect my treatment with others. A constant battle to trust someone or stay suspicious and reserve.
Few of them thought I’m just being uptight and kill joy but they never thought of me trying to hold the line of letting somebody in my walls. Getting outside my comfort zone is and will never be an issue. I may be an open book to some but it’s actually a tip of the iceberg.
I’m sharing this one to let the world know that each one of us has a constant battle with ourselves, whether they admit it or not, and how support system will help those who struggled more to live a life far from the chaos of being tied to society’s standards. Anxiety is not just getting worried, it goes beyond from feeling anxious.
For me, half of the battle is won when we fought back against our fears and speak up to let them know that we are still human capable of struggles to keep ourselves together. Society may criticize us all they want but showing vulnerability is being human. I speak up not to gain pity or popularity, but to show them it’s okay to feel helpless and vulnerable once in a while but remember to stand up three times when you fall back twice. We have to fight our inner monsters who have been stealing our worth.
For those who know someone struggling, understand and be their support system. You never know how they fought hard to keep it together. Now, I wanna say I’m proud of my mental scars because it takes a lot of courage and support to get over them.
To those who are in the verge of giving up, there is always hope and how my faith with God helps a lot. Remember, you’re not alone.