In the Shoes of a Bully Victim: What I learned.

BULLY (n) A person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.

Bullying is one of the hardest nightmare you could ever experience. You can stand the pain but deep down, you’re vulnerable.


I don’t know why I was being bullied. It just started way back when I was Grade 6 and came back when I was 3rd year high school. Though I was brave enough to stand those unkind words but deep down, it hurts like hell. It didn’t hurt me physically but it hurt me in both mentally and emotionally.

Well, that’s life. C’est la vie. You can’t please everyone to like you because living is not about somebody’s expectations but you as a human, the free will that God give you.

The bad side about bullying is that you get hopeless, depressed, and most of all alone on your own world full of bitterness but what’s good about it? It will make you stronger than you think you are. It’s about setting your mind into something better for yourself than being defeated in those people who does nothing but bickering and talking behind you. They don’t know who you are; they just know you by name not your story.

I realized a lot of things way back where I got bullied:

  • You can’t please everyone just like pleasing yourself that you’re going to be okay.
  • Never ever think of doing the same because what you will do to them will backfire. Let’s say bad karma perhaps ?
  • Never show your weakness since that’s  their reason why they bullied you.
  • Never ever be too sensitive about the bullies that they throw to you. Keep yourself firm and busy to other things that makes you strong.
  • Know who are the people who never leave you behind in the times that the world is against you. They will still there  at your worst even they share your happiness.
  • Know Yourself. You’re the only one who knows everything about you.
 
  • Never try to impress them. It will make the situation worst than before.
  • Lastly, Trust in the Lord with all your heart. His the only refuge that will never leave you.

Today, I’m different. I have the other side of it. I never get bullied when I’m in college because I find true friends that will never judge me for what I am.

Life’s seems so complex. Sometimes you have the both side of it but once you’re on the down side, it will make you stronger when you know your heart, the people who is there for you and the things that makes you happy. So, chin up! WHAT’S WITH BULLYING AFTER ALL? IT WILL NEVER CHANGE THE FACT THAT THEY GOT INSECURE BECAUSE OF YOU. IT’S JUST LIKE SAYING THAT YOU’RE ABOVE THEM 🙂

FROM THE SHOES OF A BULLY VICTIM,

LOUISSE 🙂

THE LOVE FOR JOURNALISM

I grew up to a father whose a well-known journalist in Cagayan de Oro City. Having a father like him is a privilege but sometimes a burden. Privilege because you’re born to a father who got a chance to deliver the happenings around you  and meet different walks in life; a burden because I woke up in the morning hearing news over the radio everyday or staying up late just to write several articles for people to read and know.

Journalism is considered a big spot in my life. As what they’d said “Like Father, Like Daughter”. I never expect to get involved in journalism until I was forcefully presented to be the photographer contender in a school conference. Since then, I already found myself taking pictures of reality and God’s creation. Writing came later on when I was requested to wrote a movie review on a certain Independent film.

You see I’m not a veteran photographer nor a writer. I still get blurry pictures and typo errors in my articles. Still my love and passion for journalism will be kept lighted until I grow old with wrinkles on my face. I believe that it’s my life to talk, write and interact with people. I didn’t consider it as a skill or talent but I consider it as a gift by GOD. Everyone can have it but it has limitations: never ever use it for nothing or for no good purpose. It will just serves your rightful karma if it happens.

I salute all journalist who serve the people by delivering news in different aspects to the community. Journalist who speaks what is true and right.

I salute my Journalist Father who never fails to guide us and letting us see the true meaning of life.

As what they have said, EVERY PEOPLE HAS THEIR OWN STORY TO TELL AND IT’S UP TO YOU TO LISTEN NOR LEAVE IT ALONE.  SO, I’M DETERMINED TO CHASE MY DREAMS IN THIS INDUSTRY.

-LOUISSE 🙂

God is with us… In our dreams. (Day 1)

One night I dreamed a dream.


God sent dreams to give wisdom and direction, and to test purity of a man’s heart.

As what God promises in Jeremiah 33:3 “Call unto and I will answer you, I will show you great and mighty things which you do not know.” God never fails us when we ask and pray. Even in our dreams, He is with us. I remember when I had nightmares, I end up waking up and thanking God that He let me up from a scary dream.

Science says that our dreams is a continuation of our activities on that day. it continues the things that we didn’t accommodate. True enough but for me, dreams is my secret passage way to foresee my future/. It reveals anything that I expect or things that are yet to come. It serves as a precaution on upcoming happenings.

In reality, God’s presence is with us even in our dreams. 🙂

-Footprints for Teens,

A chance to be a speaker for training upcoming peer facilitators

As what I promised in my last post, I gonna do some catch up thingy here about my activities that happened while I’m gone. An online diary? Yes this might be an online diary and I know you guys won’t care, right? Sorry if I’m not to good on writing. I guess I’m not a writer.

After finals last march 2013 and the mainstream topic about OJT, I was given a chance to be a speaker in the Peer Facilitators Training organized by the Guidance and Counseling Office led by Ma’am Mary Ann.

I was assigned to talk about the JOHARI Window which I wasn’t familiar at first. It did take me days to sort the topic and register it mentally.  It talks about knowing one’s self. Some sort of Self-discovery.

The lecture and activity that I handled went well though I was obvious sweating while talking in front of the upcoming peer facilitators who were eager to learned from us.

To summary my topic, this is the illustration. Our self has 4 windows: Open, Blind, Hidden and Unknown.

On the 2nd day of the seminar, I got a chance to act as an observer on a dyad performing counseling set-up. I did appreciate it that the participants learned from what we’re talking about since day 1 though there are some glitches.

This activity also benefit me in a way that I got to share my knowledge about counseling and learned a thing or two from registered counselors. Its like an actual refresher lesson for me.

THIS 🙂 I got a chance to bond with my fellow peer facilitators who happens to be my batch mates in the organization. (L-R) Charisse, Eunie, Me, Jessa and our president, Madam Grace.

During our morning praise and exercise with our PJs on. ♥

The me, myself and I stolen moments. The view of  the place in the roof top was breath taking in early  morning. Say hi to my purple angry bird shirt and green dog prints PJs as OOWU (outfit of waking up)  🙂

Overall, I did learned a lot of things as a speaker. I’m looking forward to speak again in trainings or seminars but I dreamed to testify and share the word of GOD 🙂

xoxo,

LOUISSE ♥

what is love in everyday situations?

Love.

Four letters in one word but complex meaning.

Best Love is best describe in the Bible.

It is patient.

It is kind.

It does not envy.

Love is unconditional.

It shouldn’t be boastful.

I don’t know if I experienced love except from the love of God, Family and Friends. They say that LOVE is full of splendor things but getting hurt is part of it. I guess LOVE comes a long way where you least expect it. Just when I thought it was love, I realized that its just a platonic thing or physical basis. I don’t even know what’s the depth of it nor its true meaning. I did experience getting butterflies in the stomach every time that certain person is near me. But is it love? Is this the moment where happy endings and imaginary fireworks became visible when you look into each other’s eyes? I really don’t know. I’m confused. What is love in every day circumstances? Is it measured with words or action? Do I have to look good to be love?

All I know, the perfect expression of love is the unconditional way.

The way that God loves us.

It doesn’t matter who and what we are.

What kind of lifestyle are we in.

What mistakes are we get into.

THE UNCONDITIONAL WAY IS THE EXPRESSION OF TRUE LOVE LIKE HOW GOD GAVE HIS BEGOTTEN SON TO DIE FOR US BECAUSE OF OUR SINS. THIS IS THE ESSENCE OF LOVE. IT DOESN’T NEED ANYTHING IN RETURN TO LOVE. LOVE IS SELFLESS NOT SELFISH.

One day it will make sense perfectly.

“Everything has a purpose.”

Living this kind of philosophy surely makes a great difference for me and for others who believe that everything has a purpose. Sometimes, we wonder why things just fall apart from our hands. Turning a violated U turn in the wrong place and wrong time where we are not perfectly aware because we are too blinded by one thing: Expectations.

Expectations cause us to plan ahead from God’s Perfect Plan. It is said in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans that I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future.” Clearly, God has already a master plan for each one of us. We may not see it now but in His time, it will make sense.

We stumble, we got hurt, we cried and numb our feelings. This is what always happens when we expect. We build this assumptions and conclusions on things that we want to happen that eventually turn out to be the other way around. We got frustrated a lot of times. Why? because we expect that things should turn according to what we think best in our judgment.

LET GOD BE THE CAPTAIN OF YOUR SHIP.

BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD.

Enjoying the summer by eating and sleeping, 

LOUISSE 🙂

Out of nowhere, Out of my body (One shot)

Walking helps me find my solitude.

As I keep myself walking in slow striding in the streets, I began to ask myself, “Where am I going?”

Pause.

A longer pause.

“What am i supposed to do?”

Looking around me like a blurry scenery; People walking fast to get to their next appointment; People  waiting for someone; People enjoying the view; People taking out their devices to capture the priceless memories. Everything seems out of nowhere. How can I fit in?

Now, I’m standing in the pavement looking around me. Everything seems a drastic moment. I wonder what they’re thinking. I wonder if their minds wander to somewhere else when they’re here.

Again, I take a few steps to allow everything around me to sink in.

I am lost and nowhere to go.

People around me didn’t know how I feel right now. They seem to be satisfied with the poker face that I plastered while walking around. They never seem to decipher the feeling of lost. The confusion that rush to my veins.

I can’t take this anymore. I am dumbfounded with no reasons at all.

I am scared that flashes of events came across my eyes until I wasn’t able to take a step.

Why am I like this? As if I exist with no reason at all. Beyond the striking heat of the sun, I feel numb. I don’t understand why.

Everything is unfamiliar. It was a thing that I observe in the state of misery. It seems that it was made without me. Everything seems to be foreign.

A lot of things and questions clouded my mind that in a bit of a second, I forgot that I was crossing the streets while the green light is on.

Everything happens so fast.

Few seconds, I feel a strong impact that hits my side.

Few seconds, I feel like I’m flying like a toy being thrown in the air.

Few seconds, I was lying in the middle of the road. Seeing the sky on it’s bluest state. I feel numb from all the pain that crosses over my body. I feel empty but free from all the misery.

Few seconds, people crowded around me. Checking if I’m still breathing and touching my hand to feel the pulse that signifies that I’m still alive.

I heard someone shouting to call the ambulance to anyone who is there to witness.

While the one who is checking on me keep saying “Hold on dear, the ambulance will be here soon.”

I heard them but I was too busy seeing the end of the road calling me to go there. To follow the light that continue to brighten each second the longer that I looked into it..

I was hesitant to stand because my body feels weak but I gather all my strength  and show them I’m fine and let them mind their own business.

One. Two. Three. I’m up and standing fine but still a lot of people buzzing around me and a nearing sound of siren is coming in our way.

I keep shouting  that I’m fine and mind their business but as I take another step, a solid thing stopped me.

I looked down and froze.

There I was lying like sleeping in the middle of the street but full of blood dripping all over my head and upper body. My white shirt turns to red because of it.

I was lying helpless.

I am dead.

But no, this isn’t true! I am not dead! This is just a dream!

I kneel down and shake my body to wake up but to no avail, I’m not responding to my own touches.

As I continue to wake myself, the paramedics rush in front of me without minding me shaking my own body.

They lifted me to a stretcher and immediately put me inside in the ambulance to rush into the nearest hospital that is 15 km away from here. I know everything because  I rode with them  because they have my body and it seems that it’s kind of absurd to let them take my body without me.

In the middle of the trip, the paramedic that helps me to keep me alive stopped.

“Why are you stopping? Can’t you seen I’m dying?” I pleaded to him.

As if he answers my question but he’s actually talking to the paramedic beside me, “She’s not responding man. Her pulse rate continue to decrease.”

“Talk to her Jones. She can hear you. Ask her to help herself.” says the paramedic beside me.

Jones holds my hand and look at me in all sincerity, “Look, I don’t know a thing or two about you but it’s my job to keep you alive while we’re going to the hospital. Hold on and help me out to keep you breathing but if you choose to not cooperate, then I don’t have the right to hold you from letting go. It’s okay honey, I understand if you want to let go. If you don’t want to live again, just let go and I’m letting you. But if you do, please cooperate with me. The decisions is in you. I know you hear me. It is you alone can help yourself. Let go and forever be at peace or hold on and continue to live. Decide now because time is sweeping away and I hope you don’t regret anything. I just want you to know, you’re my first patient because it’s my first day of job right now. Maybe, for the record, you will be my first patient that dies. I don’t know what to say. Just decide and I’m here to support you.”

A tear involuntarily escapes my eyes and as if on cue, Jones takes it as a sign of cooperating with him as he continues to help me live my life until I was being assisted in the hospital.

—-

One year ago, I was in the state of dying but there’s this stranger who wants me to decide if it’s worth it to let go of my life and be at peace forever. However, I was touch that I was his first patient to be attended to and it gives me the strength that I needed to live. I maybe not able to live up by my own but these people around me  keeps me continue to live my life to the fullest.

Right now, I decided to take part to these people that keeps me alive. I decided to become a paramedic while studying medicine.

I choose not to live on my own but I choose to live with others.

I choose to save someone’s life like the paramedics save my life in the road a year ago.

I choose to live and be the person out of many to encourage victims of losing like me.

I choose because I have to make my second life worth it.

Hello! This is my very first one shot story that I wrote and finish it.

It is inspired by Gayle Forman’s story “If I stay”.

Hope you guys like it and you’re welcome to comment or suggest a thing or two.So, what do you think?

Thank you for reading it. God bless.

Copyright. 26 June 2014.